All about Loving you
by X-DarkEyes-X
Summary: one shot song fic from Phils pov written to 'All about loving you' by Bon Jovi


_Looking at the pages of my life  
Faded memories of me and you  
Mistakes you know I've made a few  
I took some shots and fell from time to time  
Baby, you were there to pull me through  
We've been around the block a time or two  
I'm gonna lay it on the line  
Ask me how we've come this far  
The answer's written in my eyes _

**Phils pov**

All my life I made the wrong decisions. If there was a choice to be made, you could put money on it that I would make the wrong decision, right back to when I first started seeing Cindy. I knew from the start she wasnt the girl for me but I knew I would stay with her for as long as she would have me because I was scared of being on my own. She made me feel a little more complete. I ended up marrying Cindy. My heart was telling me not to go through with the ceremony but I kept telling myself that if I stayed with her long enough I would fall in love with her...but I didnt.

_Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new  
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more  
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time  
When I look at what my life's been comin' to  
I'm all about lovin' you _

Cindy and I seperated after a while. To be honest, i was glad. I felt free again...like Id been released from my own personal prison. I didnt want to get myself involved in another relationship just yet, I wasnt ready for that so I just used the girls that showed an interest in me. I would pick them up in bars and clubs, take them back to my flat, sleep with them then leave them the following morning...until I met this one girl.

_I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby  
We've been to hell and back again  
Through it all you're always my best friend  
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do  
Tonight I'm gonna find a way _

Right from the beginning, from the moment I set eyes on her I knew she was special. Not the type I usually go for but maybe that was a good thing. For a start, she was intelligent. I doubt the combined IQ's of my one night stands would reach hers. She was tiny, only 5 foot 2 inches and she didnt flaunt herself at all. I usually go for tall, leggy girls with a huge cleavage on display for all to see. This girl was the exact opposite. She had blonde hair and deep green eyes that seemed able to see right through me. Unfortunately she was certainly able to see me for what I really was...a philanderer.

_Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new  
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more  
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time  
When I look at what my life's been comin' to  
I'm all about lovin' you _

Even though I thought she was beautiful, i didnt make a move on her. She annoyed the hell out of me with her rules and no-nonsense attitude, especially when she was promoted above me, but then she was demoted back to sergeant and I began to feel something for her. I became fond of her and I felt protective of her even though I knew she did not need protecting. She became fond of me and a friendship blossomed. I stupidly ruined our relationship when Kate Maltby came along. I met her at a sex addicts anonymous group. I was only there in the first place to try and change myself so the woman I was falling in love with would see me in a different light, I ended up taking Kate home, getting her pregnant then proposing to her so I wouldnt lose my child. Another one of my bad decisions. Things soon ended between Kate and I and the friendship between myself and the woman I could hardly take my eyes off was repaired.

_You can take this world away  
You're everything I am  
Just read the lines upon my face  
I'm all about lovin' you _

We came very close to being an item on a number of occasions but something came up everytime that scared her away. Then I did the unthinkable...I went back to Cindy. I apologised for everything and we kissed and made up but I couldnt ignore my growing feelings for my best friend. Her and I had become so close recently, I felt comfortable and able to call her my best friend...I just wished she was more

_Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new  
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more  
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time  
When I look at what my life's been comin' to  
I'm all about lovin' you _

I left Cindy again. I couldnt be in a relationship with one woman while harbouring feelings for another. It wasnt right. Just as I thought we were going to get together. A new sergeant came along and stole her away. I was so jealous of him but I knew she was happy so I let them be. That was one of the best days of my life when she told me it was over between them. I knew this was our time. Sure enough, a few weeks later I found myself leaning forwards, towards her and I felt her soft, warm lips against mine. Our first kiss. I pulled back and saw her smiling at me and in that moment, I knew for the first time, I had made the right decision.

_All about lovin' you _


End file.
